Keep on trying, keep on smiling.

Road blocks

Happy Sunday šŸ™‚ Gabe and I are happily enjoying aĀ  relaxing, home day. We’ve cleaned up a touch, played vid-games, nerded online, and I’ve been researching TCM and Acupuncture.

TCM/Acupuncture have been intriguing me for a couple of years now. “Chinese Medicine has been shown to be effective in the treatment of infertility. The ultimate goal is, of course, a baby in arms, but along with that is a process which involves improving the overall health of both parents.” I love thisĀ – I love that all parts of the body are connected, and the goal is balance and harmony in the body.

TCM/Acupuncture is something I want to pursue in the new year. The major road block, of course, is…

MONEY

My extended health doesn’t cover any fertility treatments, or alternative medicines. It’s too bad really, I want to choose this option to get away from all the nasty, unnecessary, unpleasant treatments that come along with western medicine. Online it says that the clinic charges approx. 110 for the initial visit, 70 for follow-ups, and average of 75 per acupuncture treatment. The cost scares me.

TCM/Acupuncture I’m hoping would:

  • Make me feel more confident, happy and healthy in my body
  • Visits would be peaceful, helpful, informative and relaxed – unlike my usual medical appointments which make me feel vulnerable, like I’m one-size-fits-all, stressed, andĀ lacking in control
  • I don’t want symptom management – I want to get to the root of my issue andĀ eliminateĀ the concernĀ entirely
  • NaturalĀ treatments and opportunities
  • Help me to feel like the practitioner understands, sympathizes, and hears what I am going through and WANTS to make a difference
  • Work with us to achieve our ultimate goal – growing our family

Now how do I get around this road block?

Ā 

Ā 

Gearing up for the new year

Well, Merry Christmas everyone šŸ™‚ Of course, like every year, I was spoiled rotten. Spoiled with love, generosity, support and thoughtful gifts! Hubby, sister and I tried a new church this year for our annual midnight mass. Typically we attend the Roman Catholic Church (just how we were raised) and those of you who attend, may agree that it can be a painful hour +. I believe in god, absolutely, but I feel worse after church than I do before walking in the door.

This year we tried the Alliance church – it was Kareokee-esque, there was a sub, there were actors and singers, a band, they praised god and had great messages. It was awesome and I feel great. The start of our Christmas was wonderful.

Christmas day was spent joyously, opening gifts and smiling, and having a lovely dinner with Gabe’s sis.

I am so blessed, but I can’t help but be a tad disappointed that I didn’t get what I really wished for. No baby, no pregnancy.

I’m CD 10 today and my temp has finally started to drop down to typical pre-O temps. FINALLY! I don’t know if it’s still the progesterone that is lingering in my body, but this cycle is weird. I think I’m going to continue the progesterone pills for one more month. So far, I’m not a huge fan. The discharge is awful! The things us women have to do, hey? But, on a positive note, they did stop the spotting (only one day compared to my usual 5-9).

Gabe and I are doing the SMEP, and this will be our second month. Wish us luck!

With new years around the corner, I have been contemplating what my resolutions should be. I am a big new years resolutions fan – and I usually stick with them! I’ve flossed every night for the past almost-year thanks to last years resolution! I know that 2014 I am ready, and want, my family to grow. I am ready for intervention, if that’s what its gonna take.

I’m also thinking that I’ll take a picture every day in 2014. One pic a day, and then at the end of the year I can compile them together in some sort of memory book. I think that sounds like a cool resolution šŸ™‚

I’m ready and excited to welcome the new year.

Celebrate and be proud.

Once again, I woke up feeling pretty crappy. Mentally down in the dumps, wishing that I didn’t have this worry and anxiety plaguing my every thought. Yesterday I met Gabe at his work, and we had a coffee before venturing out together. I used this as an opportunity to come clean about all my thoughts and feelings, everything that’s been on my mind, and why I’m so worried about my health. He listened, and he was exactly what I needed him to be. I felt better.

He’s at work today, and I’m back to my saddened self.

But – today is a day to celebrate, and today is a day where I should be so happy, grateful and blessed.

ImageTwo years ago today I got the call from the hospital. The doctor on the phone told me that the results were in from my surgery two weeks prior. They got all the cancer, and I was officially cancer free – I would not require any further treatments.

So, rather than allow my mind to focus on the negativity or possibilities, I’m going to work hard to focus on this.

Congrats me – two years cancer-free. I’ve hit a milestone and I am proud.

šŸ™‚

Better Days.

There was a day that was really bad, and then there was a day that was pretty good. I didn’t blog either of those days, so I’m going to consider those days balanced out. Today… today is good. Today is a good day.

I was productive! I shoveled my parents driveway, got my x-ray (fuck I’m shitting my pants about the results), finished ALL my Christmas wrapping, made soup, watched a few Christmas classics, and had a nice bath. I even got off early from work – while getting paid.

Life is good.

Gabe is out with his bestie tonight, killing zombies, or slaughtering demons…whatever game they’re into these days.

I’m on CD 4 – despite this awesome day, I can’t help but feel a wee bit down.

I wish I was pregnant. I wish I could get pregnant. I wish I could make it happen. I wish.

It was a great day. But please send a wish my way.

I am grateful…

I am grateful for,
1. Marrying Gabe – the love of my life. And I’m grateful just for Gabe – for the man that he is, the way that he treats and takes care of me, and our relationship that I will always cherish.
2. Being cancer-free for almost (just shy of) two years.
3. My sister and my family. I have a perfect family, and I don’t know a lot of people that can say that.
4. Happiness. I love when I can feel happiness about something – anything. I’m grateful that there is opportunity each and every day to feel happiness.
5. Being alive.

Sometimes I just need to remind myself that I have a lot to be grateful for.

And I do.

pink2

Geriatrics are intimidating!

Oh, day number two of blogging, look at me go!

I actually just got home from my strata AGM – man, those elderly are a little intimidating! I live in a complex that is very much like Seinfeld’s, Da Bolca Vista. I am very new to the dirty thirties, but I look like I’m about 17. Seriously, it’s embarrassing. I get ID always, and my husband looks like a pervy cradle robber. I’ve come to terms with it, but I still hate how other people look at me like I’m insignificant.

So, back to my AGM – in my complex, the seniors (99 % of occupants, minus my household) were so set in their ways that it made my ears bleed. Community garden? HeckĀ  no, eye sore. Really? I mean, really?

I survived. And I just got home to vent to Gabe, who just finished his shift.

Work was a nutcase too, and it is becoming very apparent that my boss has enemies everywhere!

And my period is about to start.

Too much negativity all around me! And inside me – tomorrow I’ll make an effort to have a happier, more positive day.

Mark my words blog, tomorrow will be a good day.

 

Ps. I am getting emails that people are liking my blog posts. For real? If so, thank you! How did you even find me?

First post – Bring it on :)

Hello – my name is queenypink. I think I am ideal to be a blogger – I have tons of stress in my life, limited friends to vent to, and have overcome many bumps in the road. I am a blogging-virgin, and I’m worried that this will turn out to be like countless diaries that I started on January 1st, many years past, that only consist of one or two entries. Nah, this will be different.

So, welcome everyone! Through this blog,Ā  you are going to learn that I am 30 years, and recently married to the love of my life. We’ll call him Gabe. Gabe is wonderful – we’ve been together for four years, friends for many. We met at the gym, and we were super close, healthy and happy. Two years ago our life changed. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Man, that was the worst time in my life. Without a doubt. I didn’t know, and the doctors didn’t know, the extent of my cancer. I had a surgery booked within a couple weeks for a mystery procedure with possible treatments. It was a very scary time for us both.

Flash forward two years – and I’m so grateful, blessed, and honored to be cancer-free. Gabe and I certainly learned a lot about each other during this time, and I know that I can never be complete, never be myself, and honestly, never be happy without my Gabe. Our wedding was perfect – truly. I promise that I’ll tell you our wedding story sometime.

Once I was told that I’m healthy, Gabe and I started not trying not preventing a pregnancy. Some doctors said to wait six months, others two years, so we just decided to let whatever happen, happen. We weren’t even engaged by that time – but we knew we were going to be together forever, and we knew that we wanted to have a family.

It’s been almost two yearsĀ – and unlike my medical milestones, this is an awful milestone to be nearing. We’ve gone through the testing process, and nothing is blindingly wrong.

ImageSo – I think this blog is going to illustrate every emotion – happiness, bliss, challenges, hopelessness, and love. But, I’m hoping through this blog, it will also open my mind… that I’m doing okay; hardwork does pay off, and I am, and will continue to be, blessed in my life.

So thank you for hanging out with me, getting to know me, and supporting me. Whoever you are!

I am grateful.